Today has been quite the emotional roller coaster of a day. Not because anything grandiose has taken place, no. I’ve just had a lot of time to contemplate my life and the purpose of it. Recently, I’ve started delving into the seven Hermetic principles and in my research I’ve come upon the YouTube feed of “mindandmagick”. One of his discussions mentions an episode, called Apocalypse, on a show by British hypnotist Derren Brown. The episode, which was really hard for me to watch, was about a 22yr old man who has no passion in life. To shake him up, and get him on the right track, the show goes so far as to make him believe that it is the end of the world. Complete with asteroids, viruses, and people that need his help to survive. It’s SUPER intense to watch and on a few occasions I found myself tearing up. After it was over, and my heart had slowed down a bit, I really started to think about WHY I am who I am...and the overwhelming desire to have an effect on this present existence REALLY began to set in.
It brought me back to a photo I had taken earlier today. I don’t know if you remember, weeks ago for Halloween, I posted a photo of a lovely Jewel Spider that had taken up residence outside our bedroom door. It dawned on me that I hadn’t checked up on her in a while and when going out to see if she was still alive, imagine my surprise when I find her half the size she originally was, fiercely guarding a silky ball of her future children. I was in awe. I got up as close as I could to study her creation, and in doing so began to feel pity for her. Her she was, spinning her web day in and day out, only to starve herself to death in protection of offspring that she has NO clue will survive or not. All that energy spent for a result that is utterly and completely unpredictable. Poor thing I thought.
Fast forward to later today after listening to some Hermetic teachings and watching the “Apocalypse” episodes. For some reason I came back to the Jewel Spider in my mind and that’s when it hit me....She should be pitying me! Here is this beautifully structured creature, nature’s perfect architect, who has gone through her life and accomplished EXACTLY what she set out to do. Not necessarily because she chose to do it, but because it was part of her PURPOSE in life. She can safely let herself waste away because ingrained in her DNA is the knowledge that once those eggs hatch, she has fulfilled everything in her life’s purpose and can thus move on to the next existence. So simple....and yet, infinitely beautiful in its simplicity.
This is when the internal dialogue kicked in screaming “You are ALL here for a purpose.” We are ALL here to express ourselves and our passions to the highest levels we can possibly achieve. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! We are important. Whether you believe it or not, there is a reason you are here....and there is a reason you are reading this, just as there is a reason I am writing it.
My search has always been for Spirit....and may always be. Unless I change it, of course....but right now, just having this validation from the Source is enough to help renew the faith I have in my purpose.
And right now, my purpose is to express the gratitude for all I have been shown and taught during my short foray on this beautiful planet we share. So, thank you. Thank you for being you and having an affect on my life. Thank you for helping me be a part of my purpose. Because, whether you like it or not, you have....and for that, I love you.